November 19, 2013

An Oldie


These photos were taken this past summer on  June 4th.  My baby had just turned two months old, I definitely wasn't getting much sleep, I was still the young age of twenty four ;), I still had my long hair I could whip up into braids, and I was just beginning my new life as a mom.

So much has changed in the short time these pictures were taken, but at the same time it feels as if no time has passed at all. Becoming a mother has been one of the hardest yet most wonderful things I have ever done. Like I said in my first post back to blogging I am finally starting to feel like myself again and that I have a little control over my life.

I hate to admit that these pictures somewhat make me sad, sad because I know how hard life was back then and I am reminded of what a difficult place I was in. But more sad that life has moved so quickly and I feel like I have missed some of it. My baby is growing up so fast and I have to wonder, have I really been enjoying every moment with him? Have I wasted too much of our time together being upset that I was tired and that my job as a mother was hard? I hate to think that I have missed out on part of my life or my babies quickly changing life because of a difficult time I was having.

I'm just grateful that I am feeling like myself again even if it has taken me longer than what others would say is normal, I guess this is part of what I was struggling to share and why it has taken me so long to come back to blogging. I want to share this story so others do not feel alone, but I still feel like my thoughts are a little jumbled and these pictures from the past have helped me realize part of what I've been wanting to say. 
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4 comments:

  1. I felt like it took me longer than "normal" to feel myself again. Sometimes I don't even think of myself as the same person as I was because it changes you so much. I'm right there with you!

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  2. Hey,
    I remember when I had some classes with you last Fall semester. Well I have a 3 month old baby now. It has been hard for me too. I think the hardest thing is just how much your life slows down with a baby. I love being a mom but it definitely takes a lot of selfless love to do it! So many women struggle into the transition of being a mom, you're not alone!

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  3. Courtney. You are beautiful & strong. You're baby is lovely and you will have one amazing Christmas card! You take the time you need to recover. You don't owe anyone anything except for yourself! When it comes time to share you're story of these past few months I would love to hear them.

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